Confession time. I have mostly avoided reading any parenting guides for the last 20 years. Why? Is it the fear of being exposed as a substandard parent? Or do I resist the challenge of having to think about tackling difficult family issues in a new way? Or would I prefer to draw on the advice of family & friends rather than reaching for the advice of a stranger?

But now I find that I’m wholeheartedly recommending this excellent wee book – Raising Kids in the Way of Grace. This book encourages grace-focused, God-dependent parenting. It is a small book, only 79 small pages long. Even if you’re a new parent and you don’t have much time to read, it’s divided up into short paragraphs so that you can dip in & out easily. The main take home message is that instead of desiring a parenting how-to manual, we should parent our kids (of any age) by being teachable disciples of Christ ourselves.

I’ll just share a couple of helpful insights from the book. When tension arises at home, our temptation is to see the other family member (unruly child, angry husband) as the enemy. The author paraphrases Eph 6 to remind Christian parents that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces of evil. So our role as parents is to unite the family against a common spiritual enemy, rather than fighting against each other.

Also, grace-directed parenting will never mean that we act as if our kids are perfect. Grace is based on Christ’s relationship to us, not on our goodness – “while we were yet sinners Christ died for us”. So we deal realistically with our children, admitting our own sins, faults and imperfections. We remain strongly involved with them and filled with hope. As God is to us (holy & full of shepherding love), so we seek to be to our children. And always remember that even God’s perfect discipline can be responded to either wisely or foolishly.

This book is full of good advice, thought-provoking questions & Biblical wisdom. Every congregation should have at least ten of these...

Ann Macrae, Dingwall Free Church